The Enlightened Parent

I believe, to some extent, we all know that sugar isn’t good for us. From the time we were children we were warned, “It’ll rot your teeth”. When we became teenagers we heard, “you’ll get fat” or “your face will break out”, and now that we have kids of our own we say, “put the china up, I just gave Billy a Twinkie”. But for some reason these warnings aren’t enough to get us to look more closely at sugar and what it does to us. Check out this interesting website for more information on sugar dangers: http://www.beyondhealth.com/sugar-children.aspx.

There are so many things to worry about when it comes to the dangers of sugar, but what I worry about most is what it’s doing to my kids. Ben will be 16 in a few months and Jordan, my daughter, is 10. They have followed in my footsteps to become sugar addicts. Ben and I love dark chocolate. For us there is nothing more satisfying than letting the dark poison melt on our tongues and seeing who can go the longest without chewing. Jordan on the other hand is a Starch-a-tarian. She hasn’t eaten meat in over six years, but she rarely eats vegetables either, so we can hardly call her a Vegetarian.

My kids get this sugar stuff. We discuss it and they ask questions but they aren’t motivated to do anything. You see, they don’t have under-eye bags or aching joints and their plumbing still works. They aren’t depressed, they don’t get migraines, and they aren’t overweight – yet. They live for today and tomorrow is too far off to worry about.

“There’s no food in this house,” Ben complains. “Of course there is, have an apple.” Well, apples bother his teeth, the bananas are too ripe, and he doesn’t feel like peeling an orange. If it’s not in the pantry or capable of being nuked in the microwave in 1-1/2 minutes, then there’s nothing to eat. Make a sandwich? God forbid! He’s a heater, not a cooker and I think he’s a pretty normal kid in today’s sugar laden society.

Getting my kids to reduce their sugar intake is a million times harder than getting myself off it. I am in no way an expert and I operate with a trial and error mentality, reading a lot along the way. I’m still working out the kinks, but my first attempts to break my kids sugar habits went something like this:

1) Monopolize every dinner conversation sharing what new disease I found that day that was linked to sugar while pointing out how everything they were putting into their mouth was leading them to an early grave.
2) When they complained that there was nothing to eat, I reminded them that nothing was better than what they would have chosen had there been anything. I was, after all, looking out for their best interest!
3) Shame them into making better food choices by saying things like, “Is that really the best snack choice considering your recent acne outbreak?”

Yes, I have broken many good parent rules when it comes to getting my kids off sugar, but probably more when it comes to their nutritional health. All I want is what’s best for my children and I definitely don’t want to do anything harmful. Each of us must decide, on our own, what to do about sugar. Most of us will figure it out the hard way. But I have to help my children along the way. I don’t move the car without my children being safely buckled and they aren’t allowed on a bike without a helmet, but I continually feed them and allow them to eat the mood and mind altering, body harming, disease-causing chemical called sugar. Yet I will go to my grave insisting that my main goal in life was always to raise happy, healthy children.

I’ve had lots of people ask me how I handle the sugar issue with my children. Before writing this blog, I have to admit that I thought I had a better handle on things than I actually do. Since Ben started high school, I’ve really lost control over his nutrition. Based on a 2000 calorie per day diet, the USDA recommends that we consume no more than 32 grams, or eight (8) teaspoons, of added sugar daily (http://www.health.gov/dietaryguidelines/dga2005/document/html/chapter2.htm.) I asked Ben to talk me though his day, regarding food. After asking if I could handle the truth, Ben gave it to me. One (very large) bowl of Apple Jacks, 12 grams; 1 nutri-grain bar for the walk to the bus, 12 grams; Burger, 7 grams; Fries, 0 grams; ketchup for both burger and fries, 8 grams; 20 oz. G2 Gatorade, 17.5 grams; 2 chocolate chip cookies, 20 grams. Stop! I guess I can’t handle the truth! That’s 76.5 grams or just over 19 teaspoons of sugar and we’re only through lunch! And he has yet to eat a vegetable, fruit, or a whole grain. Should I be concerned? On the bright side, I’m pleased to see that he made the better choice of a Gatorade than say, a coke, which would have added 40 grams of sugar to that total.

You would think I would be more successful in changing my children’s diet, but sadly, the above paragraph is proof that I am not. If you look in my pantry and fridge you will find things like Toaster Strudels, Fruit and Grain Bars, and powdered iced tea mix. I still have a five-pound bag of white sugar on my lazy Susan along with half a bag of dark brown sugar. But I keep trying. It helps to constantly remind myself that I am the parent/adult and I can control what my children eat, at least when they are at home. I don’t buy soda or fruit juice, and we may go to a fast food restaurant once in a blue moon. I pack Jordan’s school lunch every day, and I try to plan ahead and have healthy snack choices and meals planned and prepared. I know it’s not enough and we have a long, hard road ahead of us, but every week I’ll try to make one more small change (like serving spaghetti squash instead of pasta, then top it with homemade spaghetti sauce – the kids love it and it gives them a pasta fix, sans the pasta). Ben has agreed to spend an afternoon with me coming up with “real” food ideas that he will actually eat. I’ll share what he comes up with. I’d love to hear your suggestions on reducing your children’s sugar intake. While your sharing your comments, I’m going to my pantry to throw a few things away.

Is Book Club Bad For My Health?

I have two mottos:  "Sugar is the devil" and "The Devil made me do it".  The latter is the motto I turn to when I've succumbed to my addiction of sugar and I followed that motto throughout the holidays of 2008.  But on January 1st I went back to my no sugar diet (when I say no sugar I mean no refined, or added, sugar.  I don't count the sugar found naturally in fruits, milk, and veggies).  All was going well.  I felt well, dropped two of the three pounds I'd gained over the holidays, energy level was up, under-eye bags were down.  Excellent.

Then I went to book club.  Beforehand, I'd wondered if Dawn would there because she's the most tremendous baker and I knew she'd bring the most delectable of treats.....  wait!  I don't eat sugar; what could I be thinking?  I secretly hoped Dawn wouldn't find a babysitter.  But I like Dawn for more than just her cooking, so instead, I just hoped she'd have run out of time and not been able to make anything.  You see, I have little trouble passing up store bought goods and things like chips and dip, but homemade delights are my downfall.  I arrived at the hosts beautiful home to be greeted with a glass of wine, which I took, of course, because the wine is actually the real reason we have a book club.  Duh!  How much sugar is in a glass of wine, I wondered.  We all congregated around the kitchen island.  This is our standard arrangement as it provides the best access to everyone's conversations and of course we are cozied right up to the wine and food.  The island was filled with a dizzying display of the most tempting of treats.  Chocolate covered strawberries, bruschetta, cookies off all shapes and sizes, pita bread with hummus, cheeses, and salami.  Oh my!  It was a dazzling sight.  I didn't dare ask Dawn what she brought.  

I sipped my glass of wine and had a terrific laugh with the girls.  About an hour into the evening (and we had yet to discuss the book), I couldn't keep my eyes off of the chocolate covered strawberries.  It was all I could do to focus on Stacy and Kristina on the other side of the island rather than the beautiful combination of strawberries and chocolate that seemed to be in my direct line of vision.  They were calling to me and they were louder than the group of 15 tipsy girls surrounding me.  

I took one and savored its juicy sweetness.  It was a good choice because of the strawberry and it provided at least some nutritional value.  Right?  I had another.  Keleigh gave me the finger to eye gesture meaning, "I'm watching you".  I thought I'd give her a finger gesture in return, but I refrained.  How could I be touting the dangers of sugar and then eat it so unabashedly?  

After discussing the book for about two minutes, we moved to the living room and continued our girl fun, every now and then saying good-bye to a girl that couldn't "hang".  When about six of us were left, we moved back into the kitchen where the feeding frenzy began.  The six of us devoured more food in a matter of minutes than the whole group of 16 ate in the first two hours!  As I was the designated driver (hence the one glass of wine) I dropped off two friends, then went into my house with a plate of leftover cookies and chocolates, for the kids, of course, and took two aspirin to alleviate my annoying sugar headache. I wouldn't berate myself for falling off the wagon.  After all, the devil was back and he was the one that made me do it.

So, was it the glass of wine that set off a series of chemical reactions in my body leading me down a sugary path?  Was it the dazzling display of delicious deserts that lead to my destructive behavior?  Regardless of the reason, it confirmed in me that my sugar addiction still has a powerful hold on me.  

My good friend, Julie, is going sugar-free starting Monday, January 12th.  She's going to track her progress and let me know what she experiences.  She'll share her progress on this blog.  I'm excited and hopeful that she will see the benefits of a sugar-free diet just as I did. I'm sure she'll struggle but maybe with the two of us doing it together we'll be able to push each other along.  Wouldn't it be great to go longer than two weeks without sugar?  I've heard somewhere that it takes 21 days to change a habit.  Well, Julie, I'll be right there with you!  I know we can do it... at least until next book club. 

Other sugar related topics I'd like to blog are:  how much sugar we eat without realizing it; sugar substitutes; kids and sugar; how sugar actually hurts us.  Do you have any suggestions for future blogs I should consider writing?  Tell me!